Who wears a wallet chain?!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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