Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
