69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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