How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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