Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
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Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
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Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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