You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Is it because I queefed?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
