he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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