Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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