Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
