A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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