I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
