God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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