Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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