Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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