I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
