John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
