I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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