I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
