So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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