I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
