I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize