Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
