i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
