you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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