C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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