my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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