the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
