this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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