Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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