some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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