dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize