Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
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I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
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I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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