I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
