I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
