I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
