in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize