I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
