Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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