South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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