Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
