There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
