Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
