I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
