apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
