After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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