Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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