Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I pour the whiskey from now on
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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