i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
