If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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