i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
