who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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