i may or may not be watching the land before time
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
