you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
