In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year