quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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