i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.