i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills