Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
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Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
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javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.