if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Drunk is a universal language darling
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
