if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
pray to the hookup gods
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
