There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
