i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
