But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
