what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
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It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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