No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
